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UNDERSTANDING HAPPINESS FROM MY OFFSPRING

 

The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.

Henry Ward Beecher, American Social Reformer (1813–87)

The Scottish novelist and poet R. L. Stevenson said, “The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed from the domination of outward conditions.” Our elder son Hari (b. 1984) perhaps understood this from his younger years and never allowed outward conditions to dominate him. I have hardly seen him crying even as a baby and I recall that he showed no signs of fear or inconvenience when he had to undergo a few surgeries during his childhood years! 

In September 1995 I had gone abroad on work for a week; during that period our younger son Ram was diagnosed with Hepatitis A had to be admitted to a nursing home. While Hema took care of Ram for most of the day, the eleven-year-old Hari, would finish school and on the way back home (the nursing home was between our house and the school) he used to relieve his mother and take care of Ram for a few hours till she returned. This went on for a couple of days until I rushed back, truncating my tour. It so happened that son of the paediatrician who was attending to Ram was Hari’s junior in school and so Hari was comfortable in chatting with the doctor as well. This habit of Hari’s—being friendly with persons who are much older to him—continues even now.

Hari enjoyed his years at school although some of his teachers at primary school and middle school were warning us that he was too distracted with other interests and thus not academically performing to his potential. The school librarian once complained to me that Hari spends more time in the library than in the playground, which all his classmates preferred. Hari was never too keen to play sports—instead he did rather well in elocution contests and essay writing. He was a keen learner of languages and began learning the violin out of his own interest. I was surprised when I got a call from the Principal of Hari’s school informing me that he was selected as the best student in the final year. The Principal requested me to get Hari for the Annual Day programme to receive the award in person.

By this time, Hari had joined St. Joseph’s College of Arts and Science for his first-year Pre-University Course. When I informed about it, he was not very keen to take leave for a day to attend the award ceremony. On the Annual Day, I got a reminder call from the school—by this time, Hari had already left for morning class. I went to St. Joseph’s College to seek permission from the Vice-Principal to let Hari come with me. The VicePrincipal was surprised that Hari had not even requested for permission or informed him about such an award. Immediately, he sent word through his office to bring Hari. And when he arrived, the Vice-Principal told him, “If you had informed me in the morning, I would have myself told you to go in person to collect the award! Now that your dad has come, you better go with him and receive the award.”

After completing his Pre-University course (twelfth standard), Hari informed me and Hema that he wanted to take a year off before joining a graduate programme. This was long before the concept of a gap year became popular in the US when President Obama’s daughter took a year off after her twelfth grade! Hari agreed to join a reputed IIT coaching centre to enhance his knowledge of math and physics. Around the same time, Hema found him a violin teacher nearby. This way we thought he could spend his time fruitfully. While a few of his classmates cleared the joint entrance exam and went to different IITs, Hari joined BMS College of Engineering; once a year he visited his friends, many of whom were in IIT Madras. 

The fall of the Berlin Wall inspired Bill Melton and Patricia Smith to create the Melton Foundation connecting graduate students from different countries. Bill, who founded VeriFone and other pioneering companies, was convinced that bringing together young people from fast changing yet culturally disparate environments would create a network capable of positive global impact.[1] In 2002, Hari was one of the five students selected from BMS to be a part of the Melton Foundation. This enabled him to travel to Germany, China, Chile, USA, and Ghana over the following decade. He also worked for the Melton Foundation for three years (2008–11).

When Hari was pursuing Mechanical Engineering at BMS, knowing his interest in writing, I suggested to him and my nephew Naresh[2] (who was also good at language) to collaborate on a book based on my mother’s life. My purpose of commissioning this work was mainly to make the two youngsters understand about our family lineage and bring out some of the family values transmitted from generation to generation over the last few centuries. Hari and Naresh readily agreed to my suggestion and in about a year’s time, brought out a book titled Roots and Wings highlighting the benefits of human values using my mother’s life as an example. This book perhaps laid the foundation for Hari’s future writing career.

Hari worked for a year in Infosys after completing his engineering. After a year in the corporate world, he quit to pursue his interests of writing and music. Without any formal introduction, Hari ventured to meet the violin maestro Dr. L. Subramaniam with a request to teach him the violin. In addition to being a long-standing student of Dr. Subramaniam, Hari has been associated with many of his path-breaking projects including the Subramaniam Academy for Performing Arts and Lakshminarayana Global Centre of Excellence. 

Starting from 2006, Hari collaborated with his maternal uncle Dr. Koti Sreekrishna[3] who set out to write a simple translation of the Bhavagad-gita and they brought out many books together. In 2016, he co-revived the Preksha online journal and worked as a Contributing Editor (Philosophy) until 2022. He (co-)wrote/edited/translated essays and books on culture and philosophy with a view to make the youth to appreciate the rich heritage of India. In 2016, under the guidance of Shatavadani Dr. R. Ganesh, Hari collaborated with his maternal grandmother Smt. Malathi Rangaswamy to bring out an English translation of Mankutimmana Kagga of Dr. D. V. Gundappa. Presently Hari is a co-founder of Praharsha, a publishing venture that aims to promote classical Sanskrit works. 

Having him observed over years, I have understood that Hari has been following all the steps that are required to experience happiness:

1. To learn and leave a positive impact on the world. 

2. Experience contentment from the work and spread kindness to whoever he meets or wherever he goes. 

3. Find joy in the journey of life and make a difference in the lives of others through his works. 

4. Pursue passions and foster meaningful connections. 

5. Discover self, grow to the best of his abilities and share knowledge acquired with the world.  

[1] https://meltonfoundation.org/about/

[2] Dr. Naresh Keerthi (b. 1985), my younger sister Latha Gopal’s son, holds a doctorate in Cognitive Linguistics and presently serves as an Assistant Professor at Ashoka University.

[3] Dr. Koti Sreekrishna retired as a senior scientist at Proctor and Gamble and lives in Mason, OH. 

January 01, 2025 | Ravi 95 

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