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SUSTAINABILITY THROUGH FAMILY RESPONSIBILITY

 

The family is the test of freedom; because the family is the only thing 

that the free man makes for himself and by himself. 

Gilbert K. Chesterton, English author & Philosopher (1874-1936)

Persons like me, born in a middle class joint-family setting soon after India becoming a Republic[1] have generally given more importance to family responsibilities, rather than personal passion or aspirations. During my younger years by doing small errands for the family, like purchasing coal, provisions, vegetables, etc., I could learn a little bit about commerce and later learnt many of the abstract concepts like culture, moral values, patience, etc., from elders at home – mainly my mother and paternal grandmother, not through any specific training, but observation and interactions. 

During the middle of my sixth semester engineering exams (1971), when marriage of my elder sister was celebrated at our home (as it was fixed at a very short notice) where we have been living for four generations (since 1877), I learnt how important focus is, amidst excitement! However, the process of participating in the excitement of first marriage happening in my family helped me a few years later when I had to organise the required arrangements for two of my younger sisters’ marriage!

Though over the last fifty years I have maintained and modified my ancestral home situated in one of the busy areas of Bangalore as a member of the fourth generation, I learnt value of fortitude only when I had to rebuild it during 2009-11 after Bengaluru Metro Rail Corporation Limited (BMRCL) had demolished the front portion for the purpose of road widening in 2008. Around the same time I had to undergo an operation for a malignant growth in my nose and was also in the process of completing my doctoral thesis! In such situations, while I understood more about importance of responsibilities towards family, my immediate family members provided the necessary support for me to move forward with time. 

Though humans have developed more sophisticated social systems, the family remains essential to human society. While family systems differ significantly among cultures, some broad themes can be found. Family structures have evolved over time, especially in the last one hundred years, as cultural conventions, economic systems, ruling dispensation and societal ideals have shaped how families function. The family, as a unit generally provides emotional support and stability and serves as a means of passing down cultural beliefs (including value system) and traditions from generation to generation. 

During the last five to six decades innovative products and services have been developed based on evolving technologies either to solve an existing problem or to meet the needs of the markets and over time they have got integrated more and more into the daily lives of human beings. Hence, people have generally developed a tendency to consume more time with these devices and gadgets, rather than developing required knowledge and skills for leading peaceful life! It is also ironical that with so much technology at our command to ease human work pressure, people are spending longer hours at work and find it difficult to attain the much needed work-life balance, sometimes resulting in developing negative emotions – anger/ disappointment/ frustration/ jealousy, etc., leading to mental stress.

The concept of work-life balance perhaps did not exist a few decades ago. Extra amount of work beyond physical / mental capacity has been normalised to such an extent that no questions were asked, no explanations given. Overwork is lauded and glorified regardless of the devastation it can cause. While all of us agree that work is the defining force of a human being and it becomes a duty towards family, society and community we live in, it is about tipping the balance. A meaningless robotic pursuance of work itself, cannot be a holistic life an individual is expected to lead. Notions of efficiency, excellence, productivity and pursuit of material wealth are goal posts today leaving little time for the needs of the families, creative pursuits and spiritual yearnings. Since the beginning of twenty first century, as much important as the five elements of nature,[2] freedom, mobility, money, network and technology are the new five elements that have become important for human beings. It is equally important for every person to understand these five new elements and develop limits for each of them based on the nature and needs of the individual.

As the family system got evolved over time, I too got evolved as a person while passing through different stages of life; however, bearing in mind my responsibilities towards the family. With the demise of my father (1989) and later my younger brother (1999), I had to adopt myself to newer responsibilities that demanded unlearning of a few of the on-going practices and learning of new ones. With the changing environment, the need for unlearning and new learning have become more a necessity; but, this need was more pronounced in my case, as the nature of work that I had taken up over the three decades after my graduation (1973-2002) was shifting from time to time. Each shift was necessitated because, I had given more importance to freedom of my thought and action, rather than the revenue.

Since 2002, I quit the business that I was involved in and started focussing more on the research that I had taken up for my doctoral programme for which I had registered during January 2002, as well as the service projects in the area of eye-care through Rotary platform, apart from supporting education of economically backward children and a few publications through our family trust. This was possible because, we were living in our ancestral home, I had invested sale proceeds of my business share in a few assets, my spouse was employed and our two sons had completed their schooling by that time. 

Adaptability, Communication (transparency), empathy, flexibility, inclusivity and patience have become the essential ingredients that are needed for ensuring happiness and harmony in today’s family life.

As George Bernard Shaw had said, ‘a happy family is but an earlier heaven!’

[1] India became a Republic on 26th January 1950  

[2] The five elements of nature are air, earth, fire, space and water.

December 01, 2024 | Ravi 92 

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